Words of Vulnerability

So far this year I've been bombarded with so much change I can't keep up. Some of the changes include: I've lost my family dog of 15 years, my car gets broken into, My sister passed away, my neice went off to college, my mom moved out of state, and I feel so lost in the transitions. One day I feel like I woke up and my world was just turned upside down. All of a sudden Im needy, all of a sudden I cry at random moments, all of a sudden its hard for me to pray, all of a sudden I have to fight beyond my feeling every day. Not a day goes by now that I don't have to choose will I accept sadness or will I tap into joy. Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going, if I'm mad or sad, it I care or don't. I'm not just trying to vent, I'm offering vulnerablity because its a gift. Right now all I can give is my best and my best is all ill give. I know I may be misunderstood by others and I may seem different "ever since". It's because over a small period of time my life has changed on many levels. Excuse me If I don't smile as much today or if I'm quieter than usual or if I don't chill as much but the rug has been pulled from under my feet and I'm learning to live again. You can watch, you can talk, you can look down, or you can help me learn to walk again. Either way I will keep trying and keep on keeping on. This is me and all I can give is my best and my best is all I will give.