I wanted to share some words Melissa wrote in a note about her son Jonathan.
“My son is the center of my world. Giving him what time and attention I am able to for as long as I am able to is my focus. He has trooped it with me since he was eight years old. He has endured true hardship and apprehension in these past 6 years. He has suffered as much, if not more than I because of the uncertainty created by my illness. But to meet him, you wouldn’t know it. Jonathan is not bitter or sullen. He is an exceptionally warm and funny young man. He is to put is mildly, remarkable.
Jonathan’s resilience offers me strength and courage. His presence reinforces my purpose and renews my drive. His quick wit reminds me that not only is there hope, but a reason to hope. And his captivating eyes implore me to fight on even though I am not offered the respite of forgetting…because neither is he."
Jonathan when I see you I see the strength of a lion. You have been the one who kept your mother going and I know that you have made your mother proud and you are going to continue to do so. You will grow up as a man of God. You will never be alone and we will all take part in your life. We are all extensions of your mother's love for you. I love you!
The life that my sister lived was a life of a champion! I don’t know many single stage 4 cancer moms who can keep up with all the duties of life and never stop laughing, joking, or settling for self pity. Melissa endured many painful experiences emotionally and physically and still held it together for the sanity of her loved one’s. My sister’s beauty was captivating, her words enlightening, her laugh contagious, her humor very witty, and her will to survive simply admirable. The past 6 years of her life I have been sharing with her about a God I have grown to love who is ready to give her fullness of life which consist of Love, joy and peace. Something we all so desperately need. I continued to feed her the word of God and his nature through cards, CDs, DVDs, books and just about every method I could think of. One of the most common topics between Melissa and I was the topic of forgiveness. I want to say to you tonight that my sister has forgiven you all. I can say that with deep conviction. I was able to spend about 12 hours sitting by Melissa just waiting for a miracle. It was absolute torture to see her there on that hospital bed looking nothing like her self not knowing if she was in pain and not being able to do anything more than rubbing her hands and legs and letting her feel the touch of my love. During that time I had some moments to reflect on those conversations of how forgiveness is difficult. I shared with her how difficult it must have been to be mocked, whipped, and nailed to the cross and still love that very person for who you are dying for like Jesus did. At times these were difficult conversations and at other times they were very easy. I share this because there is a promise I have received and that is that my family and I shall be saved and live in eternity with Jesus. At around 10pm Tuesday night I received a text message from a friend who hears from God clearly very often. The text read “I keep feeling to tell you to remember your promise.” I replied “what is the promise” She responded “salvation”. The doctors were saying my sister was incoherent. However I know that our spirit man is always coherent. Knowing that I spoke to her spirit and ask Melissa to repent of her sins to forgive everyone and submit her spirit to Jesus Christ and live in live in eternity where she will have a glorified body and there will be no more pain. After that prayer I immediately turned on worship music and we held her the entire time as we watched her fight to leave us. About 1 minute after the worship song was over she passed to be with the Lord.
On Thursday the following morning after Melissa’s passing my dad asked me “what’s 3:16 in the bible” I replied “In John 3:16 it says For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That was God reminding me that Melissa made it! Now Melissa is not perishing and has eternal life. Melissa passed on 3/16. Melissa did not die but cancer died and she is still living in heaven therefore she won!
Now I encourage you to also fight your battles in life. Don’t give up! Tonight and the next few days I would ask you to search your heart and see if you’re living a life that you know God would honor. My sister had a chance to give herself over to Christ and I know she did. Today you are also being given a chance to get right and be reconciled with Christ. Please don’t harbor unforgiveness in your heart, learn to love even when it hurts. You’ll find in the end it was all worth it.
